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World Without Eld, Amen

World Without Eld, Amen

PAGE ONE A badly colored four panel comic: PANEL ONE: KIT, a young white woman with brown hair worn in a ponytail, comes into her house. Kit: Honey, I'm home! Honey, off-screen: MUST you call me by asinine nicknames? PANEL TWO: Kit is hanging her backpack up in the background. The foreground is a kitchen. HONEY speaks from off screen. Kit: Your actual name is an UNPRONOUNCEABLE ELDRITCH HORROR. Honey: Yeah, SO? Kit: You also sit around eating HONEY all day. Honey: I do NOT! PANEL THREE: Kit is now sitting on the kitchen counter in front of a window. She has a hand palm up and an extremely skeptical expression, as if to say 'case in point.' PANEL FOUR: Honey, a small green and blue creature with purple and gold wings, large eyes, and pointed ears, is sitting on the kitchen table with a pot of honey in his lap and a honey stick in his hand. Honey: Well, this is awkward



PAGE TWO Another badly-colored 4 panel comic page. PANEL ONE: Honey is standing up and streeeetching, the honey stick in one hand. It's dripping honey into his colorful mohawk. Honey: >yawn< We could go back to 'Eld.' I liked 'Eld.' PANEL TWO: Kit is still on the counter and still skeptical. Kit: Do you remember what happened LAST time we tried 'Eld?' Honey, clearly lying, in tiny letters: noooooo...? PANEL THREE: Kit is mostly off-panel, her arm visible as she opens the window behind her. Kit: Oh, well, let me REMIND you. Hey, ELD! PANEL FOUR: At least a dozen more Eldritch Horrors, all of them in a wide variety of colors, sizes, winged-ness, hairstyles, and clothes, smack into the window curiously. The largest of them, which appears to be tall enough to look into the kitchen window, speaks. Eld: wherefore hast thou summoned ELD


PAGE THREE A 4 panel b&w comic. PANEL 1: Kit, still sitting on the counter, closes the window as the Eldritch Horrors outside fly away in disappointment. Honey has flown over to talk to her and hovers in front of her. Kit: Shoo, shoo. Sorry to summon you, I just needed to make a point. Honey: Besides, I'm not the one who turns into-- PANEL 2: A close up of Kit in profile. She's grabbed Honey by the wings and is scowling hugely at it. Them. Him. Honey looks abashed. Kit: I am just a REGULAR GIRL. Honey: I know, I know. Just a regular girl in a regular world with a regular job-- PANEL 3: Kit has let Honey go and is pinching the bridge of her nose, eyes closed, as Honey hugs her wrist. Kit: Yeah. A regular world full of ELDRITCH HORRORS, just like everywhere else. Kit, in very tiny letters: sorry Honey: Eh. No big deal. I can eat your face off if it's a problem. Kit, in tiny letters: heh Honey: Popcorn and a movie until Simon gets home? PANEL 4: Kit is on a couch in the living room, a bowl of popcorn in her lap and Honey on her shoulder.


PAGE FOUR A 4 panel, black & white comic. PANEL ONE: Kit, a young white woman with her hair in a ponytail, is on a living room couch with her feet up and a bowl of popcorn on her lap. Honey, a small, winged eldritch horror, is on her shoulder. From off-panel, somewhere else in the house, someone shouts, "HONEY, I'm HOME!" Honey: Great, now you've got HIM doing it. The off-panel person, more quietly: oh god please don't let honey have made popcorn again, last time the microwave stank for three weeks PANEL TWO: close-up on Kit, with a sulky Honey on her shoulder. Kit: Don't worry, I made it! Honey: Hmph! PANEL THREE: A good looking young man is now in the living room doorway, carrying a fruit bowl and plastic bags. Simon: But I brought Chinese! And a fruit basket! Kit, now leaning over the edge of the couch looking adoringly at Simon: Best! Housemate! EVER! Honey, sitting sullenly on Kit's head: HEY! PANEL FOUR: Kit has scooted to the other end of the couch. Simon's sitting down now, with one bag of Chinese food to the side of him on the couch and the rest of it already laid out on the coffee table. The fruit basket and popcorn bowl are under the table on its second level. Honey is getting a dumpling from a bag on the table. Kit: Sorry, Honey, but you're covered by the pet deposit. Honey: Because THAT'S not humiliating. Simon: At least you're not on the hook for rent?


PAGE FIVE A four-panel, black and white comic: PANEL 1: Simon and Kit are on the couch eating. Honey, carrying a dumpling that fills his arms entirely, is walking across Kit's lap to take a seat. Kit: Speaking of rent, what do I owe you for dinner? Simon: Nah, nothing, it's on me. Kit: It's DEMONSTRABLY on Honey! PANEL 2: Honey is sitting cross-legged, dumpling held in both hands, offense on his face. Kit's elbow and part of her torso are visible. Honey: HEY! I can't help being small! Kit: Seriously though, thanks. I gotta get a job in tech instead of at the coffee shop so I can buy dinner sometimes. PANEL 3: Simon is brandishing a half-unrolled scroll that reads CONTRACT FOR YOUR SOUL. Honey has flown up to look at it. Simon: Sure, I've got a contract here, all you have to do is sign away your soul on the dotted line. Honey: Oooh, so which Horror runs the place? Simon: I was JOKING, Honey! PANEL 4: Honey has returned to sit next to a Chinese takeaway box which is larger than he is, his arms folded, his dumpling on the couch, his expression insulted. Honey: Hmph! It's hard to tell around here!


PAGE SIX A four-panel black & white web comic: PANEL ONE: Kit is eating Chinese food and brandishing chopsticks. Honey, sitting beside her on the couch, is eating a dumpling. Kit: Honey's not wrong. I read that something like 40% of businesses are HORROR-owned now. PANEL TWO: Honey looks up indignantly from his dumpling. He's smaller than the Chinese takeaway box on his far side. Kit, on his other side, is mostly an elbow and part of a leg. Honey: I don't see how that's worse than, what, TWELVE human companies owning everything? Kit: It's probably better. At least now we've got health care and rent control. PANEL THREE: Simon is holding a box of Chinese food. Honey (and Honey's box of Chinese food) are to his left on the couch. The text balloons are not well done in this panel, I've just decided. I'll have to fix that later. Simon: I still don't get that. Why do Horrors care about health care? Honey, in a small voice: Happy meals on feet, dude. Simon: WHAT? Honey, over that, in an even smaller voice: what PANEL THREE: Simon and Kit are now very close to each other. Simon looks worried. Kit is annoyed. Simon: See, this is why I think romming with a HORROR might be a bad idea-- Kit: C'mon, Si, we've been over this before. Honey was here before you were. Simon, loudly: On a PET clause!


PAGE SEVEN A four-panel black and white web comic. PANEL ONE: Kit is glaring at Simon, who is off-panel. Honey is still sitting between them with his dumpling, but seems...larger? Kit: Only an asshole gets rid of their pet instead of getting rid of their housemate. PANEL TWO: Simon is scowling back, hands lifted, chopsticks precarious in the box of food he's holding. Honey has turned to frown up at him. Simon: I'm not saying get rid of him! Just, be careful! PANEL THREE: Close-up on Honey, in profile, now looking back up at Kit, who cannot be seen. Honey: In Si's defense, we DID dispose of a third of your world leaders when we fell through the BREACH. Kit, offscreen: AND USHERED IN WORLD PEACE! PANEL FOUR: Simon and Honey both look extremely surprised, with little exclamation marks above their heads. Honey has a hand uplifted and is going "Umm..." Kit is rolling her eyes and has a hand lifted dismissively. Kit: Okay, FINE, only KIND OF, but it's better than it was!


PAGE EIGHT A four-panel black and white comic page. PANEL ONE: Our heroes are sitting on the couch, grumpily eating Chinese takeaway. Simon: Okay, maybe I maligned the Elds a little. Honey: Again, a THIRD of world leaders. Kit: Honestly, I'm surprised it was that FEW. PANEL TWO: Simon is side-eyeing Kit. Simon: Whose side are on ON, here? Kit: World peace's. Simon: Oh, so you don't think the RESISTANCE is a GOOD thing? PANEL THREE: Focus on Honey, who is looking up at the humans. All we can really see of them are their elbows. Kit: Not a fan of causing people to end up dead in the streets, no. Simon: Look, the supers wouldn't even EXIST if it weren't for the Eld-- Honey: Now, come on, we can't KNOW that! PANEL FOUR: Simon and Kit are looking down at Honey, who is out of frame. Kit: I mean, nobody had powers BEFORE the Eld fell through the breach. It does seem like a response to your presence.


PAGE NINE A four panel black and white comic. PANEL ONE: Simon and Kit are still peering down at Honey, who is now visible, arms and wings crossed crossly, at the bottom of the frame. He's very small, the box of Chinese takeaway food next to him larger than he is. Honey: Yeah, but the way you say it makes it sound like we're RESPONSIBLE for the supers. Kit & Simon: ARE you? PANEL TWO: Honey, still sitting crosslegged, is suddenly ten times larger than before, half the size of the humans on either side of him. Honey's speech balloon has gone from regular black letters in a white balloon to white letters in a black balloon. He is rubbing his hands together and has a huge evil toothy grin. Honey: If I TOLD you that, I'd have to KILL you. Kit and Simon are screeching "YAAAAGH" in red letters and trying to scramble away. PANEL THREE: Honey has returned to normal size and has big heart eyes and a lil' halo over his head as he leans agains the Chinese food box. Honey: JEEZ, you guys, LIGHTEN UP! It was a JOKE! PANEL FOUR: Simon has got his feet pulled up under him and is eyeing Kit, on the other side of the panel. Kit has her legs pulled up and her arms wrapped around them and is looking side-eyed at Simon in return. Honey, still with a lil' halo, has stood up and folded the side of the food carton down to investigate its contents. Simon, whispering: see, this is what i meant about rooming with HORRORS... Kit, also whispering: and i occasionally see your point, yes...


PAGE TEN A four-panel black and white comic book page. PANEL ONE: Simon and Kit are still whispering to each other above Honey's head, like he can't hear them. Simon's still halfway off the panel, but he's looking back at Kit. Kit's got her hand raised in a 'talk to the hand' manner. Simon: Do you think they ARE responsible for the supers? Kit: No, not unless they were going around injecting people with super-serum while they slept. Honey, climbing into the takeaway box, loudly: Yes, that's it. More quietly: And then all the new supers were assigned a HORROR to be their WATCHELD. Even more quietly: You wouldn't BELIEVE the paperwork. PANEL TWO: Kit is looking curiously at Honey, who is now standing on the edge of the takeaway box. Kit: Is that how you ended up here? PANEL THREE: Simon is looking at Kit in shock. Kit has her index fingers pressed together and is looking off-panel innocently. Simon: Wait, are you saying he was ASSIGNED to you? Kit: I told you Honey was here when I rented the place! PANEL FOUR: Honey is most of the way in the takeaway box, his butt and wings sticking up in the air. Honey: oh look noodles


PAGE ELEVEN A four panel black and white comic: PANEL ONE: Simon and Kit are both scowling at Honey, whose butt and wings are visible as he digs into the takeaway box he climbed into. Kit: Do you ever get the impression he does cute stuff to avoid answering questions? Simon: Aaaaaand we're back to 'rooming with a Horror isn't a great idea.' Kit: Yeah, well, I like him... PANEL TWO: Kit is holding Honey up by his wings. His hands, feet, and mouth are all full of noodles. Kit: Although I am absolutely NOT eating any more of these noodles! PANEL THREE: Simon is whisking more takeaway out of the bag on his far side, which we haven't seen very often in this comic. Simon: Never fear! He did this last time, too, so I bought extra! Honey, off-panel: BETRAYED! PANEL FOUR: Kit and Simon are beaming at each other. Honey is on Kit's shoulder with another dumpling. Kit: Okay, you really ARE the best housemate ever. Simon: It's true, I am! Honey: Hmph! TEXT BOX: And they all lived happily ever after with their noodles, the end. (For now.)